Friday, April 30, 2010

What do you want from life?

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
Winston Churchill

What do you want from life
An Indian guru
to show you the inner light
The Tubes


I find it comical, really. Every single time I complain about my inability to motivate myself, or my lack of progress toward my non-existant goals, or whatever "poor me" crap I'm dishing out, I am almost instantly presented with opportunities. It's as if the universe is just waiting for me to get pissed off so that it can prove to me what a whiny little dingbat I really am. So, of course, after ranting here and then spending the rest of yesterday feeling lousy about it, I got up this morning to find in my email a notice about a group working on a picture book project and an announcement of a children's literature summer school class at the University of Washington. I should emphasize that these notices were not forwarded to me by someone who read yesterday's post. Both emails came from impersonal sources, newsletters actually.

Hurray, yippee.. just when I'm questioning myself and admitting that I know I have a problem pushing to set goals here is a golden opportunity to do just that. In fact the picture book project is perfect because it's so simple. It's a support group similar to Nanowrimo designed to jumpstart picture book writers. The goal is deceptively simple; Write seven picture books in seven days. And it starts.. tomorrow.


What do you want from life
To get cable TV
and watch it every night

That's not going to work for me. Any other week would be so much better. The first week of May is really not a great time to commit to a major project. You see I've got my regular stuff that needs to get done, plus a stained glass class on Monday, a writer's group meeting on Tuesday, Wednesday is Zane's Birthday, and Friday we have tickets to see a play. I've already committed to babysitting a few hours and I'm pretty sure I have a dentist's appointment in there somewhere too..

Pathetic isn't it?

And the other thing? The class at the UW which I know will be inspiring and fantastic and I would love to do? It's $500, two nights a week, sixty miles from home, and I might have to meet people or let them read what I write...

What do you want from life
To try and be happy
while you do the nasty things you must

Hey, Gina, what do you want from life?

Well, you can't have that, but if you're an American citizen you are entitled to:
a heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook,
a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a king-size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year's supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,
a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary's baby,
a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,
a new Matador, a new mastodon,
a Maverick, a Mustang, a Montego,
a Merc Montclair, a Mark IV, a meteor,
a Mercedes, an MG, or a Malibu,
a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati, a Mac truck,
a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped,
a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away,
or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
or a baby's arm holding an apple?

Oh good grief... thirty years later and I just now found out that "a baby's arm holding an apple" is a penile reference. That explains why I can't find an image to fit with the lyric. Thank you urban dictionary. The song is stuck in my head and has been since my senior year of high school but I've always pictured those adorable ceramic baby arms that were so popular in the 80's. You know the ones? They hung on the wall holding the strings of adorable ceramic ballons? I've always thought the song said I was entitled to something pure and simple, albeit a bit childish and useless, but actually it says I am entitled to dick.

That figures.

1 comment:

Leeann said...

Just so you know, I totally cracked up reading THIS:

"It's as if the universe is just waiting for me to get pissed off so that it can prove to me what a whiny little dingbat I really am. "

Ha! Love it!